Friday, June 12, 2009

What's New In Dart's iPod #82 AKA The Where Amazing Happens Edition

This week was ridiculous for several reasons. I did my whole "25 Producers You Need To Hear Right Now" list this week that was mad work and had me up at all hours but I was gonna be up anyways so what does that matter. Apple & AT & T pissed off a bunch of people with the new Apple iPhone 3GS situation where old customers would basically get shafted if they wanted to upgrade but new customers got a pass. Buc was fuckin' HEATED. "The Hangover" dropped last Friday and I couldn't go anywhere without hearing people talk about it..I should finally watch it, huh? I mean..go see it. Yeah..go to the theater and see it.

In other Hip Hop fuckery related news, Hot 97 Summer Jam happened and I completely didn't give a fuck cuz I'm from Boston and 90% of the people on the radio suck so who cares? Jay-Z made a song called "D.O.A. (Death Of AutoTune)" that dissed artists that use AutoTune (with the exception of his friends, off course!)..too bad he's late to that protest march. Diddy and Ron Browz are both currently on suicide watch over the shit (Diddy's been "lost" according to the man himself on Twitter). I wish I could will myself to care but I can't. Fuck 'em!

Infamous liar and thief Charles Hamilton put up a picture of his album artwork and it said his album "This Perfect Life" was co-executive produced by himself and James "J Dilla" Yancey. That's a problem because Charles Hamilton didn't know Dilla nor does he have a relationship with any of his people close friends and/or family. He also said that he'd give proceeds from album sales (on a free digital LP, mind you!) to the J Dilla Foundation (which no longer exists!) and that he knew Ma Dukes, Illa J and he mentioned Dilla's kids like he met or knew them. He also started shouting out heads from Detroit and said if anyone got beef to call him. OK then! (Don't fuck with Detroit...EVAR)

Phone calls were made, blogs were posted, texts were sent, Twitter DM's & messages flew. Within 15 minutes Charles Hamilton was exposed a liar and a fraud...AGAIN. This dude is a joke. He thinks he just earned himself free publicity when he actually just dug an even deeper hole for himself. By July he should reach the Earth's core. If you're trying to manipulate people and play the victim you should at least MASTER the art of manipulation first. He's a child playing a grown man's sport. When you do that you're bound to get hurt very badly sooner or later. Fuck him, too. This blog has been executive produced by KRS One & Just-Ice, patron saints of tossin' wack motherfuckers off the stage.

This week I'll be reviewing seven new projects that recently hit the 'net/bloggerverse and/or will be landing on store shelves soon in the following order: Aarophat & Illastrate "Black Noise", D-Block "No Security ", J.Bizness "Reason Beats & Pieces", The Red Giants "Chain Reaction: The EP", Scienz Of Life "Leviathan (Break The Spell)", Slakah The Beatchild "Soul Movement Vol. 1" and Tyga "The Potential". For those of you new to this blog, I don’t rate albums on a scale or assign them a numerical value out of 5 or 10, instead I merely answer the all important question of “Is it worth buying or not?”. Here's how my recently revised "Cop It Or Not" ratings system breaks down below:

Opinions be damned. This particular project has no redeeming qualities whatsoever and should come with a Surgeon General's warning and/or a biohazard sticker. It should only be handled by hazmat teams or bomb/demolitions squads. To quote Common & Canibus, this album is your worst nightmare squared.

Oh No! This CD is a drink coaster/table balancer/doorstop/gerbil/hamster room divider/frisbee/discus/makeshift shield/last ditch choice for a visor/alternate shuriken choice. Sell this shit to whoever is dumb enough to buy it from you.

Maeby (Maybe)! Depending on your own set of personal preferences you might like this joint. Give it a listen first to see if it's in your lane or not.

Mos Def! Cop the album when it drops...'Nuff said.

I've never even heard of this Charles Hamilton character... © Ma Dukes

Best Joints: Black Noise Intro, MidWest Kids, Ghetto2Ghetto, Y.A.M., Lay It Down, Whatchagannado, Going Places, Driftin', Chips, Higher (Revolution), Center Stage, MidWest Kids Repraise, In The Trunk and Lethal

Hot Garbage: N/A

Dart's Take: Last week I said that there are always 10 albums every year that come out of nowhere to smack the shit outta people. Last week, Thaione Davis' "Still Hear" fit that definition to the letter. This week, I recieved Aarophat & Illastrate's "Black Noise" (Illastrate was also just featured in my "25 Producers You Need To Hear Right Now" list from this week) and let me just say "Cotdamn!". There's nothing better then when you're listening to an album and it just knocks and the lyrics are on point and the guest appearances are on and there's no letdown whatsoever.

On some albums you can say it was OK and list the bangers cuz they stand out from the filler so easily but there isn't any filler on "Black Noise". None. These cats got their people together (Dynas, Boog Brown, Dev Husky, Dolo, Mojo Swagger, No Joke & Small Eyez) and concentrated on making a full concise album that you can rock to from beginning to end. A bunch of major label A&R's need to be tied to chairs and forced to listen to this to understand exactly how a Hip Hop album in 2009 should sound. No filler. No bullshit. I give "Black Noise" a mos def. Support indie Hip Hop and cop this on June 16th...or NOW.

Best Joints: From The Block instrumental,Like That Y'all (Remix), the instrumental to the third (?) bonus track "Bang Bang Bang" or whatever. *Bill Maher voice* New rules, people! No more Sheek Louch on hooks!

Hot Garbage: So Much Trouble, Thrilla, Show Em', Get That Paper, Get Ya Bounce On, From The Block, That's D-Block (stop referencing "Menace II Society" already, step your Netflix & Redbox games up!), Round & Round (you're fuckin' kiddin' me, right? Where's the REAL album?), Hello, Brother's Keeper (Jada can't save this one, ALMOST but no), Hustler's Prayer (Rick Ross turned this track down? Or did someone make this shit after hearing his last album?). Those last three bonus tracks didn't help SHIT BTW.

Dart's Take: Did the guys from The Lonely Island produce this album? Were these cats serious? *Looks around* I'm on a hidden camera show, right? This wasn't the album they put their names on? Can't be! Did they hear the beats they were rappin' on? These cats suck in D-Block. Who are all these muthafuckas on the album cover? Who'd they kill and how much coke & weed did they sell to get on this album with Jadakiss & Styles P (Sheek is whatever)?

Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves for wasting so many precious man hours in the studio recording, EQing, mixing & mastering this piece of shit album. I'm not reviewing anything else with the name "D-Block" attached to it again. Sheek Louch, one more bullshit album and you're gonna join Keith Murray in Dartrefusestoreviewmeville. Don't even look at this shit in the stores. Oh HELL no!

Best Joints: Congas, Corky, Nitro, Graindrops, SciFi, Geetar, Eyeee Am, Trigger, Themey, Sherbet, Clap, Xtacy, PBS, Canadian, Russian, Sorry, Mystery, Denice, Strip, Hello, Left, GBG, Off, ARP, Choppy and Harmonium

Hot Garbage: N/A

Dart's Take: J.Bizness is yet another recent alumni of my world famous "Producers You Need To Hear Right Now" list as of this week. On June 9th, his instrumental opus "Reason Beats & Pieces" was made available for purchase on iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon & eMusic. 26 short selections that keep your head noddin' all the way through with some potential bangers thrown into the mix. If you're a beathead and appreciate quality Hip Hop you should definitely cop it. I give it a mos def. You can preview the free version by reading J.Bizness' profile and cop it from one of many digital online distributors later.

Best Joints: The RGeez, Nati Niggaz, Ready, Set, Go, Perfect Match, Turn It Up, Never Seen A Thing and Stay Away (Remix)

Hot Garbage: Ah Yeah, Alright (Is this on beat? I think this would've been a better instrumental or maybe someone else should've rhymed on it...I dunno *shrugs*)

Dart's Take: Jermiside (Lessondary Crew) and Brickbeats are The Red Giants. The extended Lessondary family get busy over some choice selections and the entire crew appears on the project multiple times as well (Donwill, Ilyas, Von Pea, Che Grand & Spec Boogie) in addition to Theory Hazit, Skee The Surgeon & Bekah. If you're a Lessondary fan and you can swing the free.99 price tag then go download "Chain Reaction : The EP" right now. I give it a recommended maybe.

Best Joints: Break The Spell, Touch Screen Queen, Big Head Scientist, Black Devil, I Am KING, Identity Theft, Galactic B Boy, Media Medicine, Your Potential, The Bubble Effect and Oh America

Hot Garbage: What Does It All Mean and The Chip

Dart's Take: Are you or have you even been a 5% Percenter or better yet a member of The Nation Of God And Earths? Did you ever "study 120"? Do you still refer to police as "c cipher"? If you have or if you've ever read "Behold A Pale Horse", "Leviathan 666: The Mark Of The Beast" or chilled with Nuwabians discussing Malachi Z. York scrolls this this is the album for you! If you're all about the Illuminati and conspiracy theories you'll dig this. Will you enjoy listening to it? Ehhhh.

ID4Windz production style on this project was grating and mildly annoying. While the lyrics were often on point the album was a chore to listen to even though it's themes were extremely relevant to the presesnt day and the state of the media and technology as a whole. We are being force fed useless information and the media is dumbing down the populace but why isn't this ALBUM any better? When Lil' Sci makes his John Robinson projects you can rock with it but even as a conspiracy theorist who read everything you can imagine and used to "do the knowledge" with the best of 'em I'm not totally sold on this album as a whole. I give it a maybe.

Best Joints: Enjoy Ya Self, Share, Get Down Right, What's This Feeling, The Answer, Crate Love (By Your Side), It's All Good, A Way, Feel The Music, B-Boy Beef, I'll Be Alright, State Of The Game (should've been 3 minutes longer), Some Beats, Can U See It?, Now A Daze, Bad Meaning Good, Butta Fat Vibes, Ain't Nothing Like Hip Hop and Enjoy Ya Self V2

Hot Garbage: N/A

Dart's Take: Slakah The Beatchild is, you guessed it! Another recent alumni of my "25 Producers You Need To Hear Right Now" list (it's called "synergy", son!). His album "Soul Movement Vol. 1" was available for sale only online but now BBE will be distributing a physical release and put it in stores this Summer. The new version of this album is now available on iTunes and it's crazy. Slakah blends classic Soul/R&B with live instrumentation to create a soulful, jazzy vibe to his production. He can make a straight up Soul track for you to sing on or a joint for you to rip over. Slakah's a beast behind the boards and he showcases his creativity & versatility all over this LP.

Whether it's the infectious bounce of "Enjoy Ya Self", the Jazz flavor of "The Answer", the knock of "Crate Love", the smoothness of "A Way", "Feel The Music" or the far too brief "State Of The Game" Slakah leads right into "Some Beats" which is exactly that..some beats. As if to show the listener "Hey...I got even MORE heat than the 20 tracks on this album!". The album is an excellent project from start to finish and I had to replay at least half the album after the first listen which is always a good sign. I give "Soul Movement Vol. 1" another mos def. Preview it first, but if you like quality music you should be able to rock with it easy.

Best Joints: The Potential, Dad's Letter, Every Girl instrumental and My Glory

Hot Garbage: Awesome, Stop Accussing, Where Am I, Diddy Bop, Tyzilla, How Would You Like, Slow It Down, Cut My Check, RIP Dolla (He deserved better than this wack ass tribute track), Wassup (All Love) and BET Freestyle (it's a freestyle...on BET...over the instrumental to "Heartless"? Fuck you, man!) were all meh *Yawn*

Dart's Take: *Facepalm* Tyga's first album was an epic fail in every sense of the phrase. His cousin is Travis of Gym Class Heroes and he was signed to Decaydence Records in accordance with Lil' Wayne's Young Money label. His album was an attempt to appeal to a cross section of "fans"..too bad this demographic or fanbase doesn't even exist. The album was panned critically and the buying public avoided it like it was a pitcher of Kool Aid made by Jim Jones (either one).

On this album (which I had NO idea was even coming out), Tyga opens it on a promising note...then the next 8 or so songs sucked donkey phallus and giraffe balls. I was literally praying for the album to hurry up and end so I could continue on living my life. Nope, terrible hook after terrible hook. Mediocre song after mediocre song continued on and on. Industry beat after industry beat. Same flow aping Wayne and Drake just to lead into a minute & a half version of "Every Girl"...Gee, I wonder why YOU aren't on the official version? Where's Lil' Wayne? Where's Travis? Where are your people? Why am I bored listening to this asshole drone on and on about nada? Fuck this album. You got one strike left too, Tyga. I give "The Potential" an oh no. Fuck outta here!

Late Passes (For Doz Dat Slept):

Projects I'm Looking Forward To Reviewing Once They Leak...I Mean Drop in 2009:

Rhymefest-El Che
Fashawan-Boy Meets World
Jay Electronica-Act II: Patents Of Nobility
Jay Electronica-Abracadabra: Let There Be Light
Royce Da 5'9"-Street Hop
Big Boi-Sir Luscious Leftfoot, Son Of Chico Dusty
Royce Da 5'9"-Street Hop
Magnif & J Dilla-Detroit Royalty
Blu-God Is Good
Drake- Thank Me Later
Sean Price, Guilty Simpson & Black Milk-Random Axe
B.O.B.-The Adventures Of B.O.B.
Billy Danze-Behind Gatez
AG & O.C.-Oasis: Together Brothers
Phat Kat and Elzhi are Cold Steel
The Beatnuts-The Planet Of The Crates
Ski Beatz-Half Man, Half Amazing
Evidence-Cats & Dogs
Statik Selektah-The Hangover

It's a wrap for this corny ass nigga here^. Next time, you're gonna lose more than just some rings and respect. Good call! Make the album free cuz you know no one was gonna buy it anyways. Just download, talk shit about it and erase it later. You can't outrun the truth, Sonic. If you WERE a videogame character your special move would be to shoot yourself repeatedly in the foot. Dumbass! © Red Foreman


1 comment:

Zilla Rocca said...

That Black Noise LP is phenomenal. I'm copping that TONIGHT! It sounds like Mood meets Little Brother. Good looks, Dart.