Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Official Handbook To The Blogger Universe: Dart Adams (2009 Update)

Blogger ID: Dart Adams
Real Name: Steve Adams
Occupation: Blogger/Writer/Director
Legal status: Citizen of the United States Of America with no criminal record.
Other known aliases: Invincible Swordsman, Dartagnan, Dart Champion, Poisonous Dart, God’s Right Hand, Black King Of The Hellfire Club, The Ghost Who Walks (And Occasionally Takes The Train), Seldom Seen, The Invisible Man, Dude From Boston, Bronze Surfer, Encyclopedia Black and The Blog Obama
Identity: Secret
Place of birth: Boston, Massachusetts
Marital Status: Single
Known relatives: Buctayla (Hellsenda Productions)
Group affiliations: Hellfire Club, The Realm Organization, The Blogging Avengers
Base of operations: Boston, Massachusetts
First appearance: (as Dart Adams) August 26th, 2006 on XXL.com courtesy of Sickamore

History: Dart Adams was just a dude that commented on the messageboards of sites like AllHipHop.com, Dissensus and Okayplayer before he was thrust into the position of blogger after one of his blogs was posted up on XXL.com by Sickamore more than 2 years ago. He was asked to write weekly blogs for AllHipHop.com by Odiesel and after three months Dart decided to start his own blog and call it Poisonous Paragraphs. He has since began writing reviews for eMusic and currently takes on various freelance writing assignments.

Dart uses all the knowledge he acquired over his lifetime as a 70's baby, Hip Hop head, comic book fan, anime expert, basketball player, graf writer, emcee, filmmaker, history student, retail worker and record and video store manager in his blog making it one of the most unique in the bloggerverse. Dart is currently crafting a sinister plot in hopes of one day achieving world domination...either that or make people forget that Tyler Perry ever existed. To him it's all good either way.

Height: 6’4
Weight: 230
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Bald (Black)
Strength level: Dart Adams possesses the normal human strength of a man who always gets asked to pick up and move heavy shit like tables, couches, music and stereo equipment, big screen TV’s and paintings by everyone he knows (especially family members) because he’s the biggest person they can think of right off the bat when they need crap like that done.

Known superhuman powers: None. I think. Hold on...nope, still nothing. Technically, that's not a power.

Abilities: Dart Adams has the uncanny ability to remember shit that no one else gives a fuck about and then write about it. For instance, the Ruby Spears cartoon "Rickety Rocket" was about a group of Black youth in space with a private eye service and a broken down jalopy of a spaceship with big ass lips. He can also recall events in Hip Hop history that most people have forgotten about, like that the fallout from the appearance of DJ Quik & 2nd II None on Yo! MTV Raps with Fab 5 Freddy where they refused to freestyle indirectly led to the East Coast/West Coast feud via Tim Dog's "Fuck Compton" 12'.

He can recall things, events and people from the past that few others remember. He can quote liner notes from old school Rap albums and he has an extensive library of old Hip Hop videos and films as well as a collection of defunct Hip Hop and graf magazines that he uses for fact checking purposes in case his memory fails him (hasn't yet). Dart can write for hours and hours on end stopping for nothing other than sleep, relief or sustenance (Wait. uh...isn't that the case with everybody?).

Dart also can find damn near anything on the internet whether it be a newly leaked album, film, TV show or information. He used to showcase his abilities by starting threads on Okayplayer years ago asking people to request out of print albums and he'd scour the available blogs and messageboards all over the internet and return with what he found. Even to this day he gets requests to find seemingly impossible to get a hold of music and he rarely fails to find it.

Weapons: Dart's main weapon is his 17" PowerBook G4 with a 1 GHz PowerPC processor and 2 GB of memory which he uses primarily for writing and he also uses a Mac G5 Tower with a 1.6 GHz Power PC processor with dual drives containing 2 GB of memory each which is used for music production and film editing.

Dart Adams also employs the use of a 16 GB iPod Touch that allows his to listen to newly acquired or downloaded music for review purposes or personal enjoyment. He can also use it to watch film screeners, check his e-mail or to use Twitter. He often switches it for his brother Buctayla's iPhone for short intervals and swaps it back before he notices that it was gone. Dart Adams is also a ninja (retconned origin).

As far as actual weapons go, Dart is old school and he actually prefers close quarters hand to hand combat to wielding weapons but he's proficient in a number of exotic weapons and small arms learned from growing up in Boston's South End during it's infamous Crack Era (1984-1996).

One.

3 comments:

a-one said...

lol u's a fool

John Q said...

So you are who we...just...got..to.know??!!!

YO PHILLY IN THE HOUSE, Y'ALLL
DO YOU WANT MORE???!!!?!!?

(Sorry, Exuse Me, Random thoughts just flows through Jhon-e)

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