Congratulations To The AFC Champion Indianapolis Colts AKA Fuck The Super Bowl

For the first time in NFL history, two black head coaches will be leading teams into the biggest game in pro football in two weeks in Miami. Not only that, but it will occur on February 4th, during Black History Month....and I could give a fuck less about any of it.

I am a Patriots fan. I was a Patriots fan back when they sucked balls and they used to be called the Patsies. How bad were they? Patriots game used to come on at 1pm but we couldn’t watch them until 4pm because the league had a rule that if the home team didn’t sell out the game it would get blacked out. Therefore, we were forced to watch a blacked out screen with audio...Gino Capeletti would tell us just how shitty the Pats were playing in full detail. Once the prison shower rape was over, THEN the game aired at 4:30 so you could see the Roots style asswhuppin’ in living color and marvel that the game was even than Gino described. Boston used to have a USFL team called the Boston Breakers at one point...they used to get more love than the Patriots back in the day (I don’t even know what their uniforms looked like, mind you)

The Patriots went damn near 35 years before they even won an overtime game. I had to endure the following quarterbacks during my youth as a Patriots fan, Steve Grogan (the greatest Patriots quarterback ever up until Drew showed up...he threw more interceptions than touchdowns in his career), Tony Eason, Marc Wilson, Tommy Hodson, Hugh Millen, Scott Secules, Doug Flutie (before he went to the CFL) and Scott Zolak. Before Bob Kraft bought the Patriots from the Kiams, they had appeared in 6 postseasons in 34 years. The Patriots changed their old Pat the Patriot logo to the current one and took the 1st pick in the 1993 NFL Draft and used it on Drew Bledsoe, a 6’5” 245 pound kid with a cannon for an arm. Things were about to change in Foxboro.

All of a sudden, the organization started bringing in big name coaches, signing quality free agents and drafting quality people. After three years of building, the Patriots’ games were airing at 1pm in New England. They were winning overtime games...with touchdowns. The defense was forcing turnovers, the offense was scoring points by the bunches, the merchandise was flying off of the shelves. In 3 years time, the Patriots were a winner and in 1996, they headed to their first Super Bowl since the 1985 season (and the 46-10 cornholing they received at the hands of those Super Bowl shufflin’ ass Bears). The Patriots had become one of the elite teams in the AFC, they were sending players to the Pro Bowl, attracting marquee free agents and they had people OUTSIDE of New England buying their merchandise. This was damn near impossible before the Krafts took over the franchise.

I have been spoiled in recent years, I ‘ve been to four parades in the last six years (three for the Patriots, one for the Red Sox) and I’ve bought into the Patriots team ideal. They won when Terry Glenn bounced and Drew was injured, they still won whenTy Law and Lawyer Milloy bounced, they still won when Ted Washington and Damien Woody bounced. Even when Adam Vinatieri, David Givens, and Deion Branch left for greener pastures, the Patriots still managed to find a way to win....now that the season is over and I KNOW that I’ve seen the last of Corey Dllon and Assante Samuel and Rodney Harrison’s future is up in the air.

I feel like the window of opportunity is closing for my team. You can only keep losing core members of your winning franchise before everything begins to fall apart. In the end, the Patriots overworked kitbashed defense began getting riddled with passes and draws up the middle. Tom Brady kept having to win the game with his arm...Like Gong Li’s character in Miami Vice said “Time is luck”. The problem with both? They eventually run out. Case in point, the Colts are in the Super Bowl.

Being that I would be for seeing two black coaches in the Super Bowl under normal circumstances, I could really give a shit about watching the Bears, a team that has a quarterback that listens to Coldplay (think about it...) or the bane of my existence, Peyton Manning and his elongated neck (how many fuckin’ commercials can one man have anyways?). After football, I have no fall back plan this year. The Celtics suck balls this year and everyone’s injured, even the color commentary guys! The Red Sox don’t play for months, and you know that the only thing brothers like about hockey is rockin’ the jerseys so the Bruins aren’t an option. I’m stuck watching college basketball like a jackass until April.

I’m not looking forward to the Patriots losing even more players from this team next year or the prospect of hoping that the new guys in the secondary are any good or for that matter that the Patriots can replace the loss of their top receivers. This thing can end up going downhill soon and the writing is already on the wall. For all those reason listed above and more, right now I could give a fuck what color the two coaches in the Super Bowl are...just what color they AREN’T.

Patriots Blue.

One.