The Champs Are Here AKA Boston Sports Report Part Seven

I’m well aware that people are sick of hearing about Boston sports teams (or Boston at all for that matter) but fuck it...I’m a Bostonian and I write this regular segment for all my New England area readers (and sport fans from all over) so here it is. Tonight, the Boston Celtics return to relevance in the sports world by debuting the new big three of Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett against the big three of the Washington Wizards (Gilbert Arenas, Antawn Jamison & Caron Butler) tonight @ 8PM in The Jungle (TD Banknorth Garden).


The old Big Three of Larry Bird, Kevin McHale and Robert Parish were three of the greatest players ever assembled (and ugliest according to Charles Barkley) so they don’t feel comfortable with the Big Three moniker (neither did Paul Pierce, Antoine Walker and Ricky Davis...and for good reason) so they want a different nickname. Unfortunately, the nicknames created for them...kinda suck big time. We have The PGA Tour, GPA, 3 The Hard Way, The Gang Of Three, KRP in Boston and Kevin Garnett suggested The Ceatles (uh...no).

Hopefully someone will come up with something fly after thjey fuck up the Wizards tonight. People that aren’t familiar with the squad don’t know anything about what Kendrick Perkins is capable of (why do you think the management kept him?) and they’re seriously sleeping on Rajon Rondo’s speed, defense and ability to push the tempo.

If they manage to gel early and stay healthy this team can get between 48-54 wins and win the Atlantic Division this season. If they make a good move around the All Star break they can make it to the Eastern Conference Finals. They’re one player away right now. I really like Glen Davis, Eddie House, Leon Powe, Tony Allen and James Posey off the bench. Hopefully, they’ll get lucky and have some hot streaks to offset those rough West Coast road trips.

The New England Patriots are treating the rest of the NFL like they’re playing a real game of Super Tecmo Bowl this season. Coach Belichick isn’t letting anyone breathe this season by going all out on every snap. He’s definitely heated at the world after the accusations came out that he was cheating. His solution? Every game he beats the other squad into submission using the “Get down or lay down!” mentality...once you’re down he makes sure he stomps you into the ground until you come out on the other side of the Earth. Many players and coaches in the NFL think he’s running up the score but I think it’s genius...here’s why.

The Patriots lost in the 2006 AFC Championship because they failed to put away the Indianapolis Colts, who came all the way back to beat them 38-34. On top of that, when you are trying to keep your team motivated and they’re blowing squads out by 3 touchdowns a game you need a device to keep them on top of their games. By pissing off the entire league EVERYONE is waiting for an opening, a weak moment or a sub par performance from the Patriots. Coach Belichick has made it so that this team has to play with it’s head on a collective swivel and stay mean 100% of the time. No quarter will be given and none will be spared. Say yes, say word.

This Sunday at 4:00 PM in Indianapolis, the Patriots will face the NFL Champion Colts and beat the shit out of them...I say the final score will be New England 41 Indianapolis 27. Someone’s getting injured, too...I can just feel it.If the Patriots pull this game off then they have a serious shot at running the table after their bye week and shutting up those old farts from the 1972 Miami Dolphins forever and ever, Amen.


The Boston Red Sox have come home from sweeping the Colorado Rockies and winning the franchises seventh overall World Series title and it’s second championship in four seasons. The homecoming parade was huge and the Red Sox organization is set up to compete for another one for at least the next three years. My ticket for the game where Clay Buccholz won his first major league game is now worth some cash (I will NOT put it on EBay). Pretty much all Sox fans have been doing is speculating who will and won’t be back next season as well as making new avi’s for our screenames. My favorites so far are the fake movie posters (here are some of my favorites below).

Jonathan Papelbon is everywhere I look right now..on Letterman, on ESPN, on QVC (?). I hope that this season will be like 2004 and winning will become contagious to every other sports team again..I never get sick of these parades, fam.



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